Eating a burger in Australia was high on my list of things to do. Part of this is because of my lack of beef consumption these last four months, but who are we kidding? I don’t expect there to be real beef in burgers anymore these days.
No: my desire for an Aussie burger was mostly because Aussie burgers are strange creatures that warrant appreciation in their own right. What makes them strange? Even, as my post title suggests, flamboyant?
Maybe it’s because their combination of ingredients is so colourful they could actually get spectators to fork over more green to gawk at their contents than to watch a next door highwire, dish-balancing, tattoo-rippling, famille-le-freak circus act.
And what, pray tell, makes them the family circus act of the fast food world?
When you ask for “The Lot” at a burger joint in Australia, you are really asking for a meat patty (normal), tomato (normal), lettuce (yes, still normal), cheese (great), grilled/caramelized onion (fancy), bacon (om nom nom!), bbq sauce (well it is Australia…), egg (err…okay), pineapple (I…really…?),and beetroot (Jesus God, why?!).
Let’s just put that into visuals for you:
Most importantly, let me underscore: there is pineapple, fried egg, and beetroot in your mouth at the same time.
Honestly, it’s not as gross as it sounds. That said, it’s not the most delicious burger I’ve had either, and this isn’t some magical unveiling of ingredients that will rock your world six ways to Sunday. I mean, it’s hard to get gourmet with beets…
The reason I wanted one was because the food adventurer in me thinks it’s hilarious that this is the standard all-dressed burger across the nation. Frankly I think it’s hilarious that it’s normal for any nation in the world. I mean when did this become standardized?? (Seriously if anyone knows the history behind the evolutionary trajectory of the Australian hamburger tradition I’d be delighted to know).
So I ordered this burger for a laugh, and just to prove to myself that yes, this exists, and the world is a hilarious place. It’s like I’m literally consuming my daily giggles.
C and I ordered a burger each and brought them to the Callala Bay pier where they were devoured with gusto. Well, C had no problem, but I couldn’t finish mine. These burgers happened to be the size of my face. I’m sure Gulliver had more success looting an entire Brobdingnag’s table than I did on my one burger.
It’s only by the time you get to the last half, however, that it becomes obvious why I give it the name of “most flamboyant burger”: the beetroot juice that inevitably runs down your wrists has also stained the bun bright flamenco pink. A five-year-old unicorn-enthusiast ballerina princess couldn’t be disappointed by its majestic shade.
And that is The Lot.
What’s the most eccentric burger (or food in general) that you’ve eaten?