Down From The Door

One of the things my recent poll showed was that there was some interest in learning Korean words. So at your request, I shall henceforth be making Word Wednesdays a thing.

Since it’s the celebratory inaugural post, imma give two words to start you off with. They kind of go hand in hand. While they are used to insult two types of men, as the post title suggests, I feel that they are not exclusive to the ladies. Alas, these are two regrettable kinds of people that make life miserable for men and women alike – though likely in different ways.

But onwards, to the first!

1. Olgulgap (handa) 얼굴값 한다 (pronounced: ohl-gool-gahp hahn-dah)

This literally means “face price (do)”, but colloquially refers to a good-looking but arrogant playboy jerk. We all know him: the one who think his face is worthy to be carved by Michelangelo and who expects a girl’s panties to need a good wringing after he’s done eye fucking her from across the bar. Unless of course he manages to actually seduce her – as he assumes will be no issue. The only issue he foresees is in getting rid of the lady in the morning. In fact, olgulgap handas are a lot like Barney Stinson…if he didn’t wingman at all.

So that’s the first one. The second is his younger, less genetically successful brother:

2. Golgap handa 꼴갑 (pronounced: gohl-gahp hahn-dah)

Nearly the same, but instead of suave and steamy, this is a prick who isn’t good-looking but acts like an entitled muthafucking prince anyway. Again, this is a man we come across fairly often in our day-to-day lives – and for girls, even oftener in the course of a drunken evening. His natural habitat is the dimly lit, alcohol-infused setting – bars and particularly clubs – and his daily routine centres around him preening and establishing dominance via either chauvinistic displays of male superiority or challenging other (potentially more manly) males to cock-measuring competitions of masculinity. Nocturnally, he has another goal in mind: to get lucky. And, because his face is unworthy of most photographs taken of it let alone to be carved by Michelangelo, the golgap handa will tirelessly go at it all night until luck enchants him (unlike Cinderella, by midnight, and according to alcohol consumption, his looks actually seem to improve rather than magicking away). His prey is the blind-drunk hottie with more cocktail on her dress than in her glass; his goal is to hook up with her before her beer-goggles fade and she realizes what an ugly asshole this guy actually is.

So go forth, young grasshoppers of the Korean tongue, and insult your enemies with these choice words which they will never understand!

Unless they’re Korean. Then you’re done fucked.

Any word requests you’d like to know for next week?