The Perfect Beach Burger

Last post I talked about Oka Beach and how we ended up bringing our own portable grill.

Well this is the post where I share the secret of…


As this burger was made mostly out of prep work you do at home, it’s technically a burger you could enjoy anywhere, but the fact that it’s on the beach makes you feel so much more awesome about eating it.

I mean come on, doesn’t that look better than any burger in the world on that weathered wooden picnic table??

Andrea, her boyfriend, and I are all huge food appreciators. Thus, when we went about grocery shopping for ingredients to make the perfect burgers, we kind of got a little excited. Not to mention a little gourmet.

First off, we made our own patties, seasoning them with Montreal steak spice and mixing in a bunch of shredded cheddar cheese. These were wrapped in cellophane and packed in coolers with lots of ice (no food poisoning for us!!).

Next, we had to make sure we had adequate toppings. We washed fresh spinach and lettuce leaves, and packed slices of tomato and red onion. We had some avocados too, but those we brought along whole so that they’d stay fresher longer.

Yay fresh avocados! (Drawing by Twelfthgecko on DeviantArt)

Mostly because we had a butt-ton left from our pizza-making adventures the night before, we also fried up some mushrooms with nothing more than butter and lazy garlic.

And because what kind of Canadians would we be otherwise, we also pre-cooked half a pack of maple bacon to bring along.

After that it was all about the condiments: mayo, horseradish mustard, and buffalo wing sauce. Oh, and St. Agur blue cheese to melt over what would soon be a sizzling meat patty.


We got to Oka Beach absolutely ravenous and set up shop on the first picnic table we laid eyes on. The grill was super easy to get going (although working with a propane tank is always a little nerve-wracking). On our second try, it was lit and pre-heating!

But the burgers weren’t to be the only thing we feasted on: at the time, it was the beginning of corn season, and so we just had to prepare some cobs.

Never having grilled corn before, we were a little unsure of how to proceed. We ended up finding a good recipe that called for us to slather them in butter and then wrap them in foil to be grill-roasted for around forty minutes. So we got them going, and then popped the patties on not too long after.

Butter-grilled corn.

It was agony to wait for our burgers to cook, especially with the balmy beachness, and the sun shining, and smelling both our own grill and the dozens of others going at the same time…

At long last, the burgers looked just about done. We popped on the garlic mushrooms and maple bacon to warm up and got the buns all toasty, then set up all the other stuff to streamline our burger-dressing process (we don’t fuck around with food).

Then all at once, the burgers were ready.

Cheddar cheese patties. Blue cheese melted over. Maple bacon draped on top. Red onion. Fresh tomato. Buttery avocado. Garlic mushrooms. Crisp spinach and lettuce. Creamy mayo mixed with horseradish mustard and topped off with buffalo wing sauce.

Beach burger masterpiece.

It doesn’t get better than that.

We’d been happily chatting the whole time before, but once the burgers were ready, we were completely silent. All energy was focused on enjoying just how damn good they were.

The last bite of those burgers was a sad one, but also finger-lickin-good, as the Colonel would say.

We were super stuffed and had to wait a bit before having the corn, so we played a new game that Andrea and her boyfriend picked up at a Montreal game shop (Le Valet d’Coeur on St. Denis). It was called Cheaty Mages and ended up being tons of fun. If any of you are into board game nights and are tired of Exploding Kittens being your opening game, this is the perfect quick game to get you going.

Cheaty Mages: you’re all mages at a gladiator tournament and put curses/cheats onto the warriors you want to lose/win in order to get the biggest return on your bets.

As for the corn, it warrants mention because it was truly phenomenal. Basically like corn that had been candied but also happened to be butter soaked. (My arteries definitely did not love me for this beach feast).

It actually was a little odd in texture – much like the waxiness of Korean corn – so we thought maybe next time it would be better to boil it first and then roast it half as long to get a good balance. That said, it wasn’t in the least disappointing. Again, we were reduced to silence as we were consumed by consumption.

Partway through, we were joined by this little guy inching along. Nothing like being immersed in nature.

Tiny caterpillar!

And that was that! We didn’t go swimming or even rent a boat. We literally just went to the beach to grill and play games. And you know what? I’d do it again. I’d do it again in an instant!

If you want to make your own Beach Burgers, here’s a list of ingredients.


(serves 4)

  • 1lb lean ground beef (combined with Montreal steak spice and 3/4 cup of cheddar cheese, formed into patties)
  • Hamburger buns of choice
  • 1/2 package maple bacon, cooked to desired crispiness
  • 1/2 package mushrooms, sautéed in butter and garlic
  • 1 package of St. Agur blue cheese (to be crumbled as desired)
  • Red onion, sliced
  • Tomato, sliced
  • Avocado, sliced
  • 1 handful of baby spinach, washed
  • 3-4 small leaves of romaine lettuce, washed
  • Frank’s red hot buffalo wing sauce
  • Horseradish mustard
  • Mayonnaise (light or regular)

Let me know if you get a chance to make these! I’d love to hear about your results.

Until next time.

4 thoughts on “The Perfect Beach Burger

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